While reading Oscar Wao, amazed, breathless, I begin to wonder how it is for a real writer. I close my eyes and breath. I ask myself: What does it feel like? To have the power to describe the sublest thing, to be able to describe things so beautifully and so perfectly. To have the magic to transport a reader to the exact image of his mind, without forgetting one detail, one word, and above all leave the escence that somehow remained without being fully divulged, manisfesting them to light while they still hide in shadows, making them roar with silences.Is it a gift? I ask myself. Can it be learnt? Can it be taught? Am I doomed to failure? Or will I forever be the expectator and never the performer?
There is a hypocrisy in me. I wish for it to just come naturally, yet I keep pushing myself to be better, to master it, to conquer it, to have it.
And I wonder if perhaps I'm thinking to myself that it is something that's hidden in me not yet unlocked; or is it that I'm greedy and cannot cope with the fact that I'm not a successful writer even to myself, to be able to touch a reader like Junot does. I debate myself wether I'll ever be good or if it's that I'm already good.
I'm a hypocrite. I refuse to follow other people'sd standards like some cult or set of rules I must follow. Yet, these are the same people I'm hoping to wow; for them not to call me a perfect writer, but at least a writer that is able to touch others deeply even at my low capacity.
How can I be naturally good and still push myself to be good?
How can I be original, write with my own words and escence and still learn? What is it that I must learn? Am I perfecting my own words without noticing, or is it a semi-conscious effort of my mind, of my want?
I don't know if I could write, yet I'm still doing it.
4 comments:
Oscar Wao es una novela con muchísimas imperfecciones. No creo que nadie tiene la capacidad de describir todo perfectamente, ya que somos humanos y estamos muy alejados de la perfección.
Junot, es un buen escritor, pero está muy, pero muy lejos de ser un escritor de esos que recuerdan cien años después de su muerte.
Hay mucha literatura que no conoces, deberías concentrarte más en la buena lectura y olvidarte de los escritores pop, como Junot.
"Am I doomed to failure? Or will I forever be the expectator and never the performer?"
Borges decía que él primero que nada era lector y luego escritor. También decía que estaba agradecido de haber podido leer los libros que leyó, libros a los que valoraba más que a los suyos.
Te haces muchas preguntas que no deberías hacerte, qué importa si eres buena o no, si tienes talento o no? Para hacer lo que te gusta no necesitas la validación o el reconocimiento de nadie. You don't need to WOW anybody. La escritura para que sea algo que valga la pena tiene que ser despojada de todos estos pensamientos superficiales.
Sólo puedo aconsejarte que leas mucho, que leas más que lo que escribes. A través de la buena lectura te alimentarás de ideas originales que luego podrás usar parar expresarte con voz propia.
Pues nada chica, no te presiones, si necesitas recomendaciones de autores que te podrían ayudar a escribir mejor, feel free to ask me.
Te cuidas.
Ok, una novela con muchisimas imperfecciones, cuales imperfecciones, y de acuerdo a quien? Junot es un buen escritor, pero asi como piensas que no se recodara en 100 anos despues de su muerte, asi hay otros que piensan que si, como puedes estar seguro? Lo que tu llamas bueno puede ser super malo para otro, y lo que tu llamas malo puede resultar un tesoro en los ojos de otros. Olvidate de lo excelentemente escrito, para mi, si algo no me llega, no me toca, no me hace sonreir, no causa una reaccion diferente en mi, no lo quiero.
Como sabes que no conozco esa literatura? Que tal si prefiero una literatura diferente a la que prefieres tu?
Thank you for the advice. Si, tengo mucho que leer, pero igualmente tengo mucho que escribir. Recien estoy retomando el escribir como habito, no como cosa de cada dia, sino como algo artistico. Para serte sincera prefiero la literatura Inglesa y Estadounidense, y ahi es donde esta mi debate. Maybe, I should forget about Spanish. After all, I never considered writing seriously in my country, and I have never been touched or inspired by a Hispanic writer as much as an English speaking one. You can throw down my throat all Borges, Benedetti, Rulfo, Marquez, Lorca, Paz, etc... And I'm sure I'll go after others. I know you like that, but I cannot pretend to like what you and the whole world like. There's a difference between picking up a book reading it cover to cover and saying, wow, that sure was a good piece of literature; and saying, wow, that's amazing, that changed something in me, as a writer and human being. I'm sure you know there's a lot of debate on this theme. Right now, in colleges and universities, they are asking themselves if they should teach the 'canon' or go with more modern literature. I can't pretend to have the education or perfect life many have had, so I don't need a book to turn me into the something I've never been. I need a book to inspire me to continue to be me, just a better me.
Right now I'm reading Raymond Carver, check him out. Not Junot for sure, but I'm like a little girl who discovered a secret candy place.
Thanks a bunch!
Bueno, te me has revolteado. La novela de Junot tiene imperfecciones geográficas, ortográficas, históricas, de lógica, etc, muchas de las cuales el mismo admite. Son fallas que noté al leerlas, sin irme muy profundo.
A mi Junot me cae bien, leí su novela y me la gocé. Lo que te quería decir que él no es el canon por el cuál deberíamos guiarnos, a él le falta mucho, cosa que él mismo ha confesado cada vez que habla de su escritura y de sus libros.
La parte en la que el nos traslada a la era de Trujillo requirió poca imaginación ya que es más o menos una copia de La Fiesta del Chivo de Vargas Llosa. En el mismo libro, en los pies de nota el mismo Junot admite haber cometido ciertos errores pero a la hora de editarlos decidió no joder más con eso.
Lo que te quiero decir con esto de las imperfecciones, te lo digo para ayudarte(Ya que en este post estás siendo dura contigo mismo), las imperfecciones son parte de todo lo que hacemos en este mundo, todos los libros del mundo tienen algún tipo de imperfección, no hay nada perfecto, no hay escritores perfectos, no hay mundo perfecto.
Yo respeto lo que dices, si la Literatura Latinoamericana no te interesa, pues que se puede hacer, es tu decisión. Si te gusta más escribir y leer en inglés pues bien, lee, escribe. No hay nada de malo con eso. El tiempo es demasiado corto para pasárselo leyendo cosas que no nos gustan.
"but I cannot pretend to like what you and the whole world like."
Well, the whole world doesn't like what I like, I have a very unusual taste my friend. The whole world reads Junot, the whole world reads the Twilight, Coelho, Harry Potter, etc. The whole world doesn't know about the writers I read.
Good literature can change you, good literature can be amazing, it all depends on you.
I love literature in general, american, english, irish, french, russian, latin american. The broader the experience the better, the more tools and visions of the world you can acquire.
There is always a beginning, we can't ignore it. I don't think that replacing the classics with modern literature is a good idea, I believe it should stay the way it is, in college they teach both, and that's fine.
I didn't know Carver, thanks for introducing him to me. I visited his Wikipedia page and read about him, take a look of his influences:
Carver's writing style and themes are often identified with Ernest Hemingway, Anton Chekhov, and Franz Kafka.[citation needed] Carver also referred to Isaac Babel, Frank O'Connor, and V. S. Pritchett as influences. Chekhov, however, seems the greatest influence, motivating him to write Errand, one of his final stories, about the Russian writer's final hours.
Again, we keep returning to the classics. Most times, in order to understand and get the best of our favorite modern writers, we need to go back to the root, to where they got their inspiration.
Hemingway, Chekhov, Babel and Kafka are writers I'm very fond of, I'm pretty sure that Carver and me will get along just fine.
Have a good day chica, it's always good talking to you, I apologize if I rubbed you the wrong way, I just wanted to help you with your frustration and make you see that perfection doesn't exist, it is just an illusion.
Okay, si te entendi Engels, trust me, I did. Y se tambien que nada es perfecto. I did thank you for your advice, I apreciate it more than you know. Si no hay nadie que le diga a una las cosas, como se supone que vamos a aprender? There's always room for constructive arguments.
En mi post si soy dura conmigo misma, pero es que son muchas preguntas que me hago no necesariamente porque las tengo establecidas, sino que estoy tratando de encontrar 'my safe place' donde yo este segura de lo que hago, y por que hago lo que hago.
What I meant to say that there's a lot of people who only want to acknowledge the classics and call everything else crap. I like a lot of classics I've read, but I don't tend to apreciate them in the same way everyone does. I am very particular, but I do need to read more. There's a lot I don't know and I'd love some recomendations.
Thank you for writing back. No, you didn't rub me the wrong way. I like to talk that's all, very opinionated girl. There's no perfection, true. Pero no se si te ha sucedido, hay cosas que escribo que las adoro tanto, que son tan mias, que son perfectas a mis ojos y tal vez no para el resto del mundo. Por eso, tal vez, no las quiero exponer a la critica, ahi es cuando recuerdo la Oda a la Critica de Pablo Neruda. Maybe I shouldn't expose my writing at all...
Pero mi Director de High School siempre me decia: Anel, cuando tu escribes algo, eso deja de ser tuyo. I don't want to give it away, and I don't want it to become a job.
Have a nice day as well. I'm recovering from an exhausting week. Six classes in college don't leave me a lot of room to do what I like, but I would love for you to recommend some books.
Again, thanks a bunch!
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