Draft from December 1st, 2009

Creo que me di cuenta hoy sobre la razon por la que amamos las cosas. Amamos las cosas porque o alguien nos las inspiro o hemos tenido una encuentro intimo y profundo con aquella cosa que amamos. Aveces podemos amar las cosas en un nivel muy superficial, por ejemplo, yo amo las artes escenicas, pero las amo porque me gusta hacerlo, me siento bien mientras lo hago, pero nunca podria vivir la vida de una persona que vive de esto. No estoy dispuesta a trabajar en cada detalle y aprender cosas religiosamente con el fin de que algo resulte de cierta forma, para cosechar ciertos beneficios. Creo que esto tambien debe ser parte de lo que fue inspirado o aprendido.


I think I realized today the reason why we love things. We love things because either somebody instilled that in us or we have had a very deep and personal encounter with that which we love. Sometimes we can love things in a very superficial level, for example, I love performing arts, but I like to perform because I like it; I feel good while I do it. But I could never live the life of a performer. I am not willing to work on every detail and to learn things religiously in order for something to come out a certain way, to reap a certain benefit. I think that that too should be part of what was either instilled or learnt with such an intimate strength that it all becomes a part of performing. But, when someone loves something in an intimate way, there is no possible way that someone else could understand or experience that which that person loves, it could not even have to be the same kind of love that everyone has for the apparent same thing. For example, you could say that I love the mind, and yes, I do, but it began with my mind, with analyzing every thought and pattern, what was good and not good about it, what was sane and what was insane. So, why do we love things? Does everyone else have to love in the same way we love? Does everyone else have to feel the way we feel? I have learnt to love my own way, and to throw away any system that wants to make me love the way they love. I love my own way, my own crazy way, so if I love theater that does not mean that I belong solely to the theater and that I have to do everything possible to be that. I love everything I love in the way that I love it. It may be parts of it. It may only really be bits, but never tell me I dont love it, because maybe, just maybe, those bits may speak to me much more than the whole picture speaks to everyone else.

Always love life, every single part that speaks to your life and that could benefit your life and the life of humanity.....