Dear Soulmate, Draft from August 12th, 2009

Every happy day is a hard day for me. I can only think of the time when I can share my life with you. I don't spoil many people and it's been a while since I let someone spoil me. I wish so bad that you were here. I wish so bad to make you laugh, to kiss you, hug you, make fun of you, fight with you, make up with you... I wish I could write you all of these poems that I keep wanting to write, but I can't, because I feel like I'm betraying you somehow. I don't. I don't know you. I just know that you are alive somewhere and that you belong to me. I'm not like every other woman and I can't settle just for a good man. I need you. I need you to hold me and love me. I need you to challenge me and disagree with me. I need you to love me for who I am, not for an idea of who you want me to be, but for who I really am. I can't wait to have you in my life and share amazing moments. I want to offer you all of me and treat you like a king. I want us to make each other happy. I want to make love to you. I want to unleash all of the woman that I am, but just to you and only you. I'm waiting for you. I already feel like I love you. Maybe because I know how much I will. But I'm tired. I'm tired of dramatic and painful relationships, and I'm tired of shallow and circumstancial relationships. You know who I am, right? You know I'm not perfect right? You know I'm wonderfully imperfect, right? Please come to my arms, they ache with nothingness, emptiness, purposeless. They long to hold you.